An Ode to My Husband

I’ve been thinking about this post for the last few days.  My husband and I just celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary and I wanted to commemorate the occasion by writing a little something about him.  I’m sure I’m not alone when I say that the old adage is true: Happiness really is being married to your best friend.  I’m sure I’m also not alone in this thought: Some days I’d like to punch him right in the neck.  But I don’t.  Because he’s my best friend and I would never want to hurt him (unless he misses the laundry basket one more time).

Joel and I have known each other for 16 years.  We’ve been together for 15 of those, parents for 10.  It’s been some 5,400+ days.  We’ve had our share of ups and downs, like any relationship.  We’ve been on numerous vacations (mostly visiting family in either Minnesota or Florida).  We’ve moved 7 times, living in two different states.  We’ve made major purchases, financial mistakes, started exercise programs and ended said programs.  We’ve eaten gluten-free and gorged on gluten.  We’ve voted for winners and losers, seen a million movies, built furniture, adopted puppies, and a zillion mundane everyday things.

We’ve fought over stupid things, like one of us pointing out the other is chubby (“Are you really gonna eat all of that?”) and missing the laundry basket (again with the socks on the floor RIGHT NEXT to the basket!).  We’ve disagreed on the strength of the coffee, the way to make eggs (I like over medium, he likes scrambled), whether the noodles are fully cooked.  Just like any marriage, we’ve had silly arguments; but we’ve also had great, wonderful, glorious days.  We’ve had perfect vacations, beautiful babies, financial windfalls, and lots of laughs.  He still makes me laugh.  Ladies, if you haven’t already, find the person that makes you laugh hysterically.  It’s good therapy.

I have a question for you: Is it normal for a mother to be a little envious of her children for having such a great father?  I am!  I didn’t have the best father.  He loves my sister and me.  I know he does.  But he didn’t play Barbies with us, or put on plays with us.  He didn’t build baby doll beds for us, even though he definitely could have.  Daddy was more about hunting and fishing, and quite honestly, neither my sister or I were that into it once we got to be tweens.  Joel is the best father I could’ve asked for my kids to have.  God definitely answered my prayers on that one.  He is so patient with Jamie.  When we’ve had to stay in the hospital overnight, Joel stays with Jamie.  When Jamie is sick, Joel is right there.  Every doctor appointment, surgery, illness, Emergency Room trip, Joel is there.  He drops everything and meets us wherever we are to be with us.  He is my rock.  Luckily, Joel has the kind of job that he’s able to leave at the drop of a hat, usually.  Every time Jamie’s bi-pap machine alarm goes off, Joel is there to quiet it and put the mask back on Jamie, which means the man is running on very little sleep, usually.

When we’re sitting in a surgery waiting room, he’s the one holding me together.  He’s the one trying to make me laugh.  When I’m full of worry (and he is, too), he’s the one making me walk down to the cafeteria to get something to eat.  When we’re awaiting test results, he’s the one telling me, “I’ll eat my shoe if that result comes back positive.”  Sometimes, it can be annoying to have someone so positive around, but when it comes to our babies, there’s no one I’d rather have by my side.

Not only is he a great father to Jamie, but he does all those things for Riley, too.  The Barbies, the plays, the dance recitals, the fashion shows, the books he reads to the kids.  He can be counted on to be there for his children.  I think that’s the most important thing a daddy can do for his kids.  He’s really present in their lives.  And for that, I love him even more than I thought possible.

Of course, there are the times when I really want to just take a day and have some time for myself.  When the laundry is piled up (next to the hamper) even after I’ve done laundry for the last 2 days, the dishes are still in the sink when I cooked and it’s his turn to clean the kitchen, the times he washes and details his car but forgets to do the van, the times he takes off work early to go to the practice range but I’m still at home with the kids (I want to go, too!), the days I’m irritable and he pushes my buttons on purpose to get me going and then tells me to “calm down”, the days he shares his cold with me, or complains about having sinus pain and pressure but puts off going to the doctor until he’s really sick, those days I’d really like a day off.  But, I wouldn’t trade those days for anything.

I’m so lucky to have a real partner in life, a man who is good with his hands and can fix just about anything that breaks around our house, a man who loves doing yard work to make our house look beautiful, a man who will dust and vacuum when our allergies are out of control, a man who will come home from working all day and cook dinner for us when I just don’t feel like cooking, a man who will put his arms around me and comfort me when I need it.  Joel is the man I didn’t know I wanted some 15 years ago.  By this I mean, I knew who he was, but I didn’t know who he would become.  I knew he’d be a good father, but I didn’t know he would be such an awesome daddy.  I knew he was funny, but I didn’t know he would still make me laugh after all these years.  I knew he came from a good family, but I didn’t know they would be there for us in the ways they have been.  I knew he was a caring person, but I didn’t know he would be so patient with us.  I knew he loved his job, but I didn’t know his love for that job would take us where we are now.

Joel, if you’re reading this (and I know you are), I want you to know that I love you more than I thought possible.  Thank you for the best 11 years of marriage a girl could ask for.  Thank you for the home you’ve helped me make, and thank you for our two beautiful children.