You want a night out?  The first thing that comes to mind is: Are you crazy?  You’re leaving your precious little one to go out and enjoy yourself with your spouse/significant other/friends? How dare you think you deserve that time to actually be the person you were before your kids came along!  Just who do you think you are, missy?

Married…with children 2010

All kidding aside, it is imperative that you get out of the house and enjoy yourself.  Laugh, tell stories with your friends, talk to an adult, have a drink if that’s your thing.  Even if your date night is going to your house of worship, do it.  You need that time to be the you you were before your kids entered the picture and completely changed your life.  Maybe your idea of a fun night is going to the laundromat and putting the quarters in the machine alone.  Maybe it’s grocery shopping.  Maybe it’s going to the book store and browsing the new titles to get a book you’ll have absolutely no time to read unless you lock yourself in the bathroom where you still won’t have much time because the little ones are knocking on the door, asking, “Mommy, where’s the milk?  Mommy, why are you in there?  Mommy, mommy, mommy….um, I forgot.”  Boy, that was a run on sentence.  In my defense, I’m locked in the bathroom trying to get this post out before the kids find me.

My husband and I have done all of those date nights listed above.  We really like to go to Whole Foods without the kids.  Or even Joseph Beth and just walk around surrounded by all those books.  Actually, any opportunity where we get to be “Joel and Brandy” and not “Mom and Dad”  is a great night.  Sometimes we talk about the kids, sometimes it’s current events (Ok, I hate reading sad news so mostly my topics are the Kardashians or Real Housewives), sometimes it’s Joel’s work.  Whatever it is, it helps us connect.  It helps us to get back to who we were pre-kids.

My husband and I on our honeymoon, 2001

You know, having kids is stressful.  Add on the fact that most of our KWSNs have either medical or developmental complications and it gets, well, complicated.  I find that taking a night off with Joel is very relaxing.  The fact that we get to order dinner that doesn’t include french fries and chicken strips, there are no crayons on the table, and our kids are nowhere near us, makes for a relaxing night.  The one beer I have at dinner helps a lot, too.

You need to find your own ideal relaxation night.  If you’re not able to get a sitter, maybe you could get a friend or family member to come sit with your child while you and your spouse watch a movie elsewhere in the house.  Perhaps you could have a dinner date outside while your sitter and kids are inside.  What could be more relaxing than sitting under the stars with your sweetheart?  Maybe your idea of relaxation is catching up with your sleep.  Get that friend of yours to hang with your kids while you nap in the arms of your honey.

More importantly, you’ll be recharged and better able to handle the day-to-day stress of parenting.  If any of this is something you can do, DO IT!   Seriously, why are you still sitting there?

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