Finding Your Mom Tribe

What is a Mom Tribe, anyway? And how do I find one?

Well, a Mom Tribe is a group of women who count on each other; whether it’s sharing the carpool duty for after-school activities, bus stop hovering, helping out when one of the group is sick, and just generally being a shoulder to lean on. All the women in the group help each other. It takes a village, right?

Your Mom Tribe keeps you sane on the days you feel like you’re losing your shit. They are the ones who help pick you up when you feel down, or when you feel like you just can’t pick up one more pair of shoes left haphazardly at the back door. They will bring you a casserole or sit with you in the hospital. They have coffee at the ready and sometimes even donuts.

They’re the moms you chat with at your kid’s dance or football practice. The ones you look forward to seeing each week at whatever extracurricular activity your children have gotten themselves into. The ones who don’t care that you’re in yoga pants even though you haven’t been to yoga class in years. The ones who also have their hair up in the mom bun. They tell you if you have broccoli (or taffy) stuck in your teeth or a band-aid on the butt of your jeans (true story). They’re the moms you meet at PTA, volunteering at recitals and games, neighborhood moms, moms you pass in the cereal aisle every week, your paths cross often.

While your Mom Tribe may not be as crazy as the Tribe in Bad Moms, I hope your Tribe has the same kind of loyalty theirs does.

Your Mom Tribe is the women who adore you, look out for you, lift you up when you’re not quite sure you can go another day. And you repay all of their kindnesses.

They meet you wherever you are in your walk of life. No judgment. Just acceptance. They know you’re not intentionally flaky, just that the baby kept you up all night and now you’re too tired to meet for lunch. They may come over and help you do laundry. Or pack when you’re moving to a new house. If your kid’s being a little turd when you’re not looking, they may correct him. You will do the same for them.

I’m always on the lookout for new members to my Mom Tribe, but it does take time to build trust with other moms. Unless you’re putting yourself out there, you won’t be getting invites to the neighborhood card game or the potluck dinners. In general, you have to make the first move. So, invite the neighborhood moms over and let them see just how awesome and amazing you are – even if some days you don’t feel that way.

My Mom Tribe in Kentucky was made up of supportive, smart, and hilarious business women and stay at home moms alike. There were moms of kids with special needs and moms of neurotypical kids. We supported each other in ways that only moms can. When I told them all my family was moving 13 hours away, we cried but they showed up at my house and helped pack my family’s belongings. They came for birthday and holiday parties, never empty handed. When my son had multiple hospital stays, they came with food. Answered my crazy texts about beeping monitors in his room. Listened to me when I cried about how scared I was about losing him, and just let me cry. Called to meet up for yogurt for no other reason than just to see us. They became the family I needed because my biological family was 750 miles away. Our husbands became friends. Our kids had sleepovers and were/are the best of friends.

When anyone in that Mom Tribe needed help, I was there. When you can repay your friends by helping them out with whatever they need, you do so. No one expects the help, it just happens. That’s the Mom Tribe.

My Mom Tribe in the Twin Cities is made up of several ladies in my neighborhood and some that are part of our Miracle League nonprofit. Those mamas are available in a pinch! I would like to form more lasting relationships with these ladies and hope to get to know them better soon.

If you don’t have a Mom Tribe, find one soon! And then meet up to see the Bad Mom’s Christmas movie this year. I hear it’s going to be hilarious! If you’re lucky enough to already be in one – give a new mom a break and invite her in!