Looking Forward & Making Changes

In the last couple weeks of December, I usually start a list of the things I'd like to focus on in the coming year.

Not a resolution list, per se, just things to keep in mind as I'm going about my daily life.

Health is always on my mind. I am going to focus more on eating healthy and making healthier meals for my family. This year, we definitely ate a lot of comfort food. So many creamy, heavy, fatty recipes. In the new year, I will be making more heart-healthy meals.

I do a daily mental health check-in with myself. I would like to do that with my daughter as well. She's 13, and she is distance learning. It's not normal. Nothing has been "normal" for a while. I forget that she's changing every day and things can be tough, especially for a teenager. I will be teaching her how to do a daily check-in with herself so she can see if there are any changes she needs to get help for before it becomes a real issue.

For anyone wondering how that works, I basically just ask myself these questions.

• What is repeating in my brain today?
• What is bothering me?
• Have I talked to anyone about it, or do I feel like I can't?
  • If the answer is no, then definitely try to chat with someone who loves you or is impartial to the thing that's bothering you.
• Is the thing that's bothering you something you can change?
  • If the answer is yes, and it's in your power to change it, fucking change it!
  • If the answer is no, figure out what you can do to let it go. If you can't change it, then worrying about it won't help.
• Accept the things you cannot change and try to move on. If you can't, call a therapist or your doctor to see about how to get help.

Another thing I'd like to work on more is telling the people I love how I feel about them. I try to tell my family and friends every time I talk to them that I love them. When I'm visiting or chatting with them and it's time to hang up, "I love you!" Relationships are so important. Things can be replaced, people cannot.

On the flip side of that is the fact that some relationships are meant to be burned. If you're struggling in a relationship that isn't making you a better person or they are putting you down or hurting you, stressing you, it is not worth it. Your mental health, your self-worth, and self-love are worth more than having that negativity in your life. Let them go. You don't have to tell them off or leave with the slam of the door, just don't engage anymore.  I silently cut people out. I don't have to tell them I'm leaving, I just go. If their presence doesn't add anything to your life, then their absence won't take anything away except the yucky feelings.

These are just a couple of things that I will bring with me into the new year. I know that it's been a tough one for a lot of people, and I hope that 2021 will bring brighter days.