There are times, like today, when I’d love to be irresponsible.  I’d love to be the one who doesn’t remember what time the kids have to be at school or therapy.  Or the one who never remembers where I put my cell phone, keys, wallet, belt, and shoes.  But I’m not.  I’m a Mama.  Mamas have to be on call at all hours, for everyone, even when we’re on “vacation”.  If your family is with you, you are on the clock.  Now, I’m not really complaining.  I enjoy being needed by my family.  I always wanted to be a wife and a mother, and I love it.  I have the best (and some would say the hardest) job in the world.  I get paid in hugs and kisses.  Who but a mom can say that?  Still, there are days…

The thing about responsibility, though, is that it never really ends.  We each have a responsibility to the other members of our little tribes, but Moms have the biggest job.  We have to make sure everyone has their shoes on before we leave the house, pack snacks if we’ll be gone a while, a change of clothes (or in my case, two changes of clothes!) for the child who’s potty training, and toys/activities to keep the kids occupied while running errands.  Not to mention all of the other jobs we have to take care of.  Dishwasher is broken?  Mom to the rescue…Call that repairman!  Your daughter needs that dress washed so she can wear it to school tomorrow?  Start the laundry!  Your husband forgot his cell phone at home and he has clients calling him all day?  Quick, load all the kids up, get in the van, and deliver the cell phone to his office so he doesn’t miss any calls (and you don’t have to play receptionist for him)!  Your kid has a specialist appointment three hours away and your other child has to be picked up at a time when you’re at the appointment?  What to do?!  You gotta clone yourself, woman!  There’s work to be done!

Your child is throwing up at 2 am, and not from anything fun like partying like it’s 1999.  No, this is the stomach flu.  You have to get up and take care of her.  Clean her up, wash her clothes, sheets, and blanket.  Find a bucket.  Moms have to pay the bills on time, wash the dog, make sure everyone has lunch money, wash/dry/and fold everyone’s clothes, mop the floors, get the car serviced, and check in on their own parents. Or, maybe that’s just me; but I’m pretty sure a lot of moms are this crazy and over-worked.  I have actually said to my husband, “Would you please help me by rotating the laundry and folding what’s in the dryer?”  And then when he starts to fold the laundry, I tell him he’s doing it wrong.  What the hell is wrong with me?  The man is helping me and all I can think is that he’s folding the shirt wrong and the crease will be in the wrong spot down the front of that t-shirt.

I’m also the person who makes “packing lists” when we’re getting ready to travel so I can make sure I don’t forget anything we might need.  I have been known to type up said list just to make it pretty.  Sick, I know.  I am a thinker and a doer.  I think ahead all of the time.  What could happen?  What will be the outcome of this situation?  It’s a blessing…and a curse.  When we’re traveling (which we’re getting ready to do next week, and is why I can’t think of anything else right now), I try to plan where we’ll stop for the night ahead of time.  I also look ahead to the next couple of exits to find just the best place to stop for bathroom breaks.  I often wonder if anyone else does that kind of thing.  I may need to get professional help.

I would love to be the person who doesn’t always know where the iPad is, who doesn’t have to stop what she’s doing (writing this post) and help find your homework.  There are days when things are so lost that even Mom can’t find them, but I keep looking, thinking I’ll stumble upon your missing Barbie doll shoe, hoping that either your brother or the dog haven’t eaten it.  Some days, no one needs anything from me…oh, wait.  That was just a dream I had the other night.  Sigh.  Nope, someone always needs something from a Mama.  That’s just the way it is.  And aren’t we so lucky?  We are NEEDED!  Yes, it’s trying at times.  And, yes, I’ve actually been told I’m enabling them to act that way since I’ll always help them find their stuff, but what should I do?  If I know where they left whatever it is they’re looking for, should I just let them wander around for hours until they find it?  I wonder if my mother-in-law did that for my husband, enabled him to act this way.  Am I making my daughter that way by helping her find her stuff?  Or is it that my husband is the creative type and so therefore a little “flighty” when it comes to forgetting where things are, or what time he’s supposed to be ready to go somewhere?  Is he this way because he knows I’ll always have his back and know where the thing is that he needs at that moment, or will keep reminding him what time he needs to be ready to go?  It’s been this way for 15 years with him.  Am I creating a monster for my daughter’s future significant other to deal with by doing the same things for her?  I wonder.

Stand back. I’ve got this.

There are certain responsibilities I wish someone would take over for me.  Potty training (after 7 years of it with the same kid, I’m sorta over it), laundry (even though that’s a hard one for me to let go of), grocery shopping, the morning dash to find everything, taking out the trash, and anything that has to do with vomit clean-up.  That’s about it for my list.  I wouldn’t want to give up too many of my responsibilities because then I’d miss the in-between times with my precious family.  And that’s a responsibility I’m so honored to have.

Share with me a few responsibilities you wish someone else would take over for you.

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